THE INNER MIRROR
There is a play by the Romanian play writer Marin Sorescu, which imagines a slightly different story for the Biblical character of Jonah, turning the exile inside the whale’s belly into a journey of self-discovery. The fact is, that I always wondered what happens to Jonah after the curtain falls. What happens after he cuts himself open? If by exploring and cutting in its outside world all he could find were bigger and bigger whale bellies, but never himself, what will he find inside his own self? Will he find himself or something else? Will he cut himself once to find the answer, or will he keep doing that infinitly? A similar sensation as concerning to Jonah’s faith, I have regarding the process of drawing. In my vision, when the pencil touches the paper it becomes a scalpel who cuts in our depth with precision. Even if we don’t arrive in a specific place (even though, like in Jonah’s case, we probably will never know if there is a final destination or the road itself is the purpose of the journey) we are all the lines that we draw, we are all the layers that we cut open. With every line, with every incision that we make, we find something new about ourselves, about our inner space, our inner selves.
In Jonah’s vision, the exploration of the exterior world will bring him knowledge of his own self, and the true discovery of his identity. This quest in the outside world to find his inner self brings him to alienation. At the end of the play he doesn’t even identify himself anymore with the name of Jonah. „Jonah” becomes someone other than him, losing his identity completely. I find Marin Sorescu’s vision meaningful, because it brings back the focus upon one’s interiority/individuality in opposition with man’s search for objective knowledge. It explores the possibility of subjective knowledge, so that the more you dig into one’s self, the more clearly you will perceive the outer world, and not the other way around. This is also a personal conclusion which I decided to explore in this drawings installation. Drawing for me is a process of introspection. The same way a mirror reveals one’s image, drawing reveals one’s self.
The act of drawing is for me a process of clarifying oneself with itself. It’s an inner journey to one’s self. The whole creative process of this work navigates around the matter of introspection, the space in which it occurs, and drawing as a means of searching for one’s self, more specifically defining a space which helps me find balance in everyday life, by reuniting three major elements of my existence: music, nature and drawing. It is a space of self-discovery through the means of drawing.
The page on which I draw becomes a liminal space where my inner world collides with the outside world, slowly helping me define my own identity.